To:
De Burgemeester van Tilburg
Stadhuisplein 130
5038 TC Tilburg
Tilburg, 24 juni 1997.
Dear Mayor,
Sometimes I wonder if it is all worth the hassles and the insults one faces as a foreigner trying to go out to enjoy oneself in the discotheques in Tilburg. You go through various forms of abuse, shame, indignity and mental and sometimes physical pain just because you have a face or colour that some people have decided is not acceptable. I will limit myself to a most recent example of how I was humiliated for no just cause at all for the umpteenth time in city that is my adopted home.
Ever since I came here four years ago from Groningen in search of work, I have been going to the same discotheque (except on a few occasions) in Tilburg. ZINO. Surely, almost every third Sunday you will find me there. Last Sunday, 22-06-97, I became a persona non grata there. I went there as normal and the newest of the bouncers there told me I was not welcome. He did not even look into my face before he started to turn me back. I was dumbfounded.
I asked this guy (whom I’d never seen before) why I could not go in. I was not a ‘vaste klant’ he told me. I felt so shocked and humiliated. I shook my head in disbelief as I turned back and walked towards my car. Half way I turned back. I needed to ask a question. I went back again. This same bouncer stood at alert the moment he saw me again. He blocked the way anticipating some kind of trouble. He surely does not know me. If he did, he would know I am not a trouble maker.
‘Ik heb maar een vraag.’ I said.
‘Uh uh’
‘Wie is een vaste klant ?’
‘Iemand die hier regelmatig komt !’
He was obviously trying to impress his boss who stood there, the whole time, grinning. While this was going on, one of the many acquaintances (a white female) I’ve made there in the course of four years, came along to explain that I am a regular customer. Meanwhile, people were going in and out looking at me like there was some shit on my body. To complete a humiliating experience, the owner of the club ZINO went inside and brought out the other bouncers one by one, to identify me. I felt like a criminal. One by one, like Peter to Jesus, they denied ever seeing me there except the very last one who recognised me! How could anyone miss seeing me in the course of four years. I stand out. I am 1.94 metres tall. There are not many black men who are that tall in Tilburg. These bouncers denying ever seeing me are the same people who always demanded tips from most of the black guys who go to that club. Well this was the last time I was ever going to give beggars of any kind, anything.
After this identity parade, one of the bouncers told me I could go in..By which time the only place I wanted to go was, home. To cry. I just said thanks to my acquaintance told my oppressors I was never coming to disturb them again. I disappeared into the night, almost drowned in the pool of my own shame.
I have been trying ever since to figure out why I was turned away in the first instance. It could never be because I was shabbily dressed (I always dressed immaculately). It could never be because I have ever made any kind of trouble (I try to behave impeccable). The only conclusion that I find is that this happened because of my race. Nobody goes out to the same place only to be told he is not a vaste klant, after four years. I hope I will eventually be proved wrong. I really do. I need to regain my faith in the justness of this society I live in.
I know it is easy to say there was not any overt manifestation of racism in the whole thing, but what happened to me was not an isolated incident. It happens every time. In fact, I am sure the owners of the club will say blacks are always allowed in there. But from my first hand experience, for every one black man allowed in, ten are turned back. I have seen in happen countless of time. My girlfriend (she is Dutch) saw it happen on Pinksteren weekend when she (who goes there only once in a while) could go in but my black friend who accompanied her could not. He was not a ‘vaste klant.’ My girlfriend returned home extremely upset by the experience.
Just three weeks ago, I watched in disbelief as a black guy was ordered to take off his necklace while the Dutch guys were not. To stand any chance of being allowed in as a black man, you almost have to be overdressed while some other riff-raffs just go in because they have the ‘right’ colour. If you see a black man in suit on a warm summer night, he is probably going to try his luck at entering ZINO.
Well in all of this bullshit, I see an indirect compliment paid to me. If a person of my height could not be recognised after four years of going to that club, it means I have behaved myself in ways that do not make me draw undue attention. Nobody will ever say I have caused him or her any kind unease there. In fact, I have used my persuasive influence several times to prevent some people there from causing any trouble. An example is the black guy with the necklace I referred to earlier. He really wanted to make trouble. He was already saying something like “if those white people can put on their necklace so can I”, but I subtly told him not to make any fuss.
My points are; are these acts of discrimination justified in a Dutch society that prides itself in being open? As were approach the 21st century, are we progressing or just carrying the prejudices of the past with us into a new millennium? For those of us who have children in this society, what are we expected to teach our children about race-relations? Are those children of ours doomed to inherit the same indignities we are being made to go through now? If you conduct an opinion poll of foreigners in Tilburg, about the subject of uitgaan, it will reveal that Tilburg has an extremely low rating. What kind of society divides its citizens into two, treats one like kings and the other like slaves?
‘Tilburg bekent kleur’ That’s what one poster said four years ago when I first came here. Now we can write an addendum to that slogan; Tilburg bekent kleur – zolang de zwarten hun plaatsje kennen! Wat jammer.
Your fellow citizen,
Femi Soewu
cc; Exploitant ZINO
Districtschef, Politie Midden- en West-Brabant, district Tilburg.
Anti-Discriminatie Bureau Tilburg.
Groen Links – afdeling Tilburg
PS: To this day, I’ve never got a reply from the mayor. Neither did I get a reply from the owner of ZINO, the police, the anti-Racism office in Tilburg nor the then Tilburg branch of the Groen-Links party! So after a couple of months of silence from them, I decided to start looking for a place to have an inclusive, Africa-themed party. Ultimately, partyboot Albatros (De Boot) and Jazz club Paradox offered me a chance to begin Africa Night in their locations. Africa Night started in May 1998 on the Boat. The rest is history!
